Okay guys, hi and welcome to my blog. Today I wanted to share something that I went through a while back and something that unfortunately a friend is going through right now. Ever been in a relationship that you are so much invested in that you miss the signs that your significant other is about to bail out? You are concentrated on loving on someone and trying to keep the fire burning that you do not see that they are headed for the exit sign. Well sometimes you see the signs but you just do not know whether it is just something that will pass or if it is something serious. Either way, I am sharing today 7 signs that I experienced in my past relationship that I should have seen before I got the boot.
1. Less communication 💔
Going from 1871543727393 texts and calls per day to almost none. This is a very common sign that your significant other is slowly withdrawing from the relationship. They are no longer interested in knowing how you woke up in the morning, how your day is going or if you made it to your appointment. They used to be the first person to say good morning and the last person to say goodnight. When you find yourself always reaching out to them first and they sometimes take ages to respond then you need to start asking yourself why the sudden change. The situation does not get better when you are together too, they seem unplugged and uninterested in any conversation.
2. Not interested in your appearance 💔
You could dye your beard purple or walk around in a clown suit for the whole day and they will not say anything about it. This could mean that your partner is no longer attracted to you, well at least not physically. You used to be complimented daily on how handsome or beautiful you looked but now you are fishing for compliments … unsuccessfully. Big red flag that something is not right in the relationship. Especially when this change is more all of a sudden and not gradual.
3. No more going out together 💔
Dinner dates, eating lunch together, going to a friend’s party have become a thing of the past and you cannot remember the last time you even stepped out together. And yes, they still enjoy going out…just going by themselves. They would rather be in the company of their boys or girls or any other person that is not you. It is safe to say, they do not want you around nor do they miss your time together. The question is, who do they enjoy spending time with then and why? Spending quality time together is an important part of a relationship, if it not happening then it needs to be addressed. Else, the “ship” is about to sail without you.
4. Excuses have become their best friends 💔
“I am tired,” or “I am running late,” or even ” I forgot” are sentences that you are hearing more often than you would like. There is always an excuse for not investing any time on your relationship or just being around you period. Sometimes they are just trying to be polite so instead telling you a truth like ‘I couldn’t care less about your birthday’ they would rather tell you they were caught up at work or something. But once these start piling up, you do get a bit fed up and would prefer the truth, even if it hurts like ripping out a band aid.
5. No more pet names, will not even say your name 💔
That awkward silence when you wait for them to finish off a sentence with babe, honey or bae and it never comes. I personally feel that if I have to ask you to call me sweetheart or something cute then I don’t want it at all. The relationship feels more formal to say the least as though you are just mere acquaintances. If this goes on for a day or two then maybe they are upset with you and it is something that can be talked about. If it should go for more than a few days, it probably means they are heading towards the exit.
6. Intimacy is dead 💔
There are different levels of intimacy and if you find yourself back at level zero then ‘Houston we have got a problem’. Gone are the days that you couldn’t keep your hands to yourselves when you were alone. You find yourself having to initiate any sort of intimacy all the time and sometimes you get shut down. Intimacy does not give you that warm fuzzy feeling when it feels forced and unwelcome. Again, this can be something you can talk about or it might just be a good time to take a bow and take your leave…before they do.
7. Always arguing 💔
The silence is deafening but you would rather have it that way than risk saying the wrong thing and dive into an argument. It seems as though you can not get through a conversation without it ending in a spew of words. It is like treading on eggshells as they seem triggered by each and everything you say. Arguing over nothing is not worth it unless you can have an intimate making up session afterwards. It is quite exhausting and frankly you end up emotionally drained. It can only go one way after that.
Those are the 7 things that I personally should have noticed before I got dumped. And I must say, it is not always a bad thing. If one person in the relationship has lost interest then it should be okay for them to opt out of the equation. I believe that is a better decision than stringing you along when they know there is no future for the two of you. Yes, sometimes it hurts and you feel like your life is over, but remember ‘Their rejection may be your protection’. I just wish I had read the signs sooner, then I would have a clean record of never been dumped 😉 …
Well, that’s it guys.
Thinking till next time…
August 3, 2021 at 12:33 pm
Yes, it is better to move on. But what about the time and effort spent on the relationship? Time that you won’t get back. Biological clock et al. How do you handle the regret? Asking from an Eastern perspective.
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August 10, 2021 at 1:04 pm
Oh yes, the regrets. I really wish I could put a number to it and he could pay me back for all the time, the care, the love. But from my experience, I am grateful and look at it as a learning experience. Now at least i can share and try to help one or two people. And I believe in reason so the peace and love, and purpose that i have found after is worth so much more than what I may have lost back then. It is no longer a time I care much about. A story tucked away in my archives.
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August 4, 2021 at 1:52 pm
Ooh one subject I think I don’t have to worry about. Been married for 31 years. Great article and advice for those that are worried about losing a significant other.
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August 10, 2021 at 12:59 pm
I just celebrated my 7 year anniversary :-), looking forward to seeing 31. Congratulations!
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August 4, 2021 at 2:39 pm
I agree that it is not always a bad thing because it only means that that person is not really the one for us. It is hurtful but you both won’t be wasting precious time anymore.
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August 4, 2021 at 3:05 pm
Feeling cold from our loved ones is truly heart-breaking.
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August 10, 2021 at 12:57 pm
It drives me crazy, I am a talker and believe so much in communication and honesty.
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August 4, 2021 at 7:03 pm
This is so interesting. I’m not in a relationship and just wondered – would I read the signs correctly if I was part of a couple?!
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August 10, 2021 at 12:57 pm
I believe if a relationship is meant to be it is a beautiful thing, but once you begin experiencing changes that do not make sense then its best to address it. The sooner the better. After my break-up I was single for almost 2 years, we still have fun regardless yes!
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August 5, 2021 at 3:33 pm
The less communication is a big one. You just know when something is off about the relationship when that happens.
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August 10, 2021 at 12:53 pm
The silent treatment gets to me all the time.
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August 10, 2021 at 5:32 pm
These are great insights. People need to understand the situations going on around them.
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August 12, 2021 at 12:43 pm
These are some great warning signs to look out for.
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August 12, 2021 at 5:32 pm
These are all really good signs, especially when you notice a decrease in communication. Thanks for sharing.
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August 13, 2021 at 2:14 am
I totally agree with you. There are always signs before a break up and the 7 that you mentioned are big ones. Thank you!
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August 13, 2021 at 10:25 am
Thank you for stopping by, yes indeed and some of us had to learn the hard way lol
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August 13, 2021 at 8:56 am
yes yes and yes. suddenly they get so busy and never have time to hang out.
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August 13, 2021 at 10:26 am
When a second apart seemed like forever just a while back. Big red flag!
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August 13, 2021 at 10:36 am
Yes these signs are really true especially the communication matters. Even it hurts we have to move on.
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August 13, 2021 at 3:01 pm
Communication is important when you have a long-distance relationship. My husband and I are away from each other ever since this pandemic has started. We always keep our communications open and we trust each other.
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August 13, 2021 at 9:39 pm
There definitely can be many warning signs like the 7 you mention. But to be honest, if you start seeing those kind of actions, perhaps it is time to get BRAVE and start a conversation on what the hell is going on rather than waiting for some horror to happen to you. I say this because also many of those 7 actions could also be signs of other problems like your partner is depressed, is struggling at work, or upset about someone else. Who would know if you dont ask
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August 17, 2021 at 10:00 am
Definitely agree. Bowing out of the relationship should be a later decision when all other means fail. As you mentioned it may be something personal that they are going through and just don’t know how to talk about it or do not feel like talking about it just yet. it is always good to sit down and have a heart to heart talk, and an honest one for that matter.
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August 13, 2021 at 11:07 pm
This is spot on! When there is less communication, it means it went to someone else. That’s sad to think about.
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August 14, 2021 at 5:30 am
Thanks for the reality check and that’s true, you have to read the signs and make a decision of what you want to do next – knycx journeying
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August 14, 2021 at 10:50 am
I absolutely ate this article up. Even as someone who haven’t had a relationship, i agree with all these signs. Like from the outside, these may all seem obvious, but i guess there’s also that denial when you’re in the relationship already. Hard stuff
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August 17, 2021 at 10:02 am
Yes, i kept telling myself that all was well and that it was all in my head. the denial was real. Thanks for bringing that up too
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August 14, 2021 at 1:59 pm
I personally think that some sights are a red flag, others do not necessarily announce a breakup. But that’s my personal opinion, of course.
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August 17, 2021 at 10:07 am
Definitely, when changes like these begin its best to just have a good sit down talk to address the issues. And hopefully it is something you can sort out and move on from. The exit may come as a last option.
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August 14, 2021 at 2:57 pm
I agree too, breakups are not a bad thing. They might be the best thing actually. However, it might hurt and these tips help to figure out if it is a breakup or not. But I think communicating this is key too.
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August 14, 2021 at 2:57 pm
Self awareness is key here! Communication helps so much in all relationships.
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August 16, 2021 at 1:13 pm
I could have saved myself so much heartache if I would have just read the signs when I was younger.
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August 17, 2021 at 10:08 am
We always have that one relationship to learn from. Hopefully we know better now
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September 11, 2021 at 5:10 pm
This would have been really helpful when I was younger. I definitely missed the signs in my teens and twenties!
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September 12, 2021 at 3:48 pm
lol, we all have that important life lesson lol. thanks for stopping by
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