Okay guys, hi and welcome to my blog. Today I wanted to share something that I went through a while back and something that unfortunately a friend is going through right now. Ever been in a relationship that you are so much invested in that you miss the signs that your significant other is about to bail out? You are concentrated on loving on someone and trying to keep the fire burning that you do not see that they are headed for the exit sign. Well sometimes you see the signs but you just do not know whether it is just something that will pass or if it is something serious. Either way, I am sharing today 7 signs that I experienced in my past relationship that I should have seen before I got the boot.
1. Less communication 💔
Going from 1871543727393 texts and calls per day to almost none. This is a very common sign that your significant other is slowly withdrawing from the relationship. They are no longer interested in knowing how you woke up in the morning, how your day is going or if you made it to your appointment. They used to be the first person to say good morning and the last person to say goodnight. When you find yourself always reaching out to them first and they sometimes take ages to respond then you need to start asking yourself why the sudden change. The situation does not get better when you are together too, they seem unplugged and uninterested in any conversation.
2. Not interested in your appearance 💔
You could dye your beard purple or walk around in a clown suit for the whole day and they will not say anything about it. This could mean that your partner is no longer attracted to you, well at least not physically. You used to be complimented daily on how handsome or beautiful you looked but now you are fishing for compliments … unsuccessfully. Big red flag that something is not right in the relationship. Especially when this change is more all of a sudden and not gradual.
3. No more going out together 💔
Dinner dates, eating lunch together, going to a friend’s party have become a thing of the past and you cannot remember the last time you even stepped out together. And yes, they still enjoy going out…just going by themselves. They would rather be in the company of their boys or girls or any other person that is not you. It is safe to say, they do not want you around nor do they miss your time together. The question is, who do they enjoy spending time with then and why? Spending quality time together is an important part of a relationship, if it not happening then it needs to be addressed. Else, the “ship” is about to sail without you.
4. Excuses have become their best friends 💔
“I am tired,” or “I am running late,” or even ” I forgot” are sentences that you are hearing more often than you would like. There is always an excuse for not investing any time on your relationship or just being around you period. Sometimes they are just trying to be polite so instead telling you a truth like ‘I couldn’t care less about your birthday’ they would rather tell you they were caught up at work or something. But once these start piling up, you do get a bit fed up and would prefer the truth, even if it hurts like ripping out a band aid.
5. No more pet names, will not even say your name 💔
That awkward silence when you wait for them to finish off a sentence with babe, honey or bae and it never comes. I personally feel that if I have to ask you to call me sweetheart or something cute then I don’t want it at all. The relationship feels more formal to say the least as though you are just mere acquaintances. If this goes on for a day or two then maybe they are upset with you and it is something that can be talked about. If it should go for more than a few days, it probably means they are heading towards the exit.
6. Intimacy is dead 💔
There are different levels of intimacy and if you find yourself back at level zero then ‘Houston we have got a problem’. Gone are the days that you couldn’t keep your hands to yourselves when you were alone. You find yourself having to initiate any sort of intimacy all the time and sometimes you get shut down. Intimacy does not give you that warm fuzzy feeling when it feels forced and unwelcome. Again, this can be something you can talk about or it might just be a good time to take a bow and take your leave…before they do.
7. Always arguing 💔
The silence is deafening but you would rather have it that way than risk saying the wrong thing and dive into an argument. It seems as though you can not get through a conversation without it ending in a spew of words. It is like treading on eggshells as they seem triggered by each and everything you say. Arguing over nothing is not worth it unless you can have an intimate making up session afterwards. It is quite exhausting and frankly you end up emotionally drained. It can only go one way after that.
Those are the 7 things that I personally should have noticed before I got dumped. And I must say, it is not always a bad thing. If one person in the relationship has lost interest then it should be okay for them to opt out of the equation. I believe that is a better decision than stringing you along when they know there is no future for the two of you. Yes, sometimes it hurts and you feel like your life is over, but remember ‘Their rejection may be your protection’. I just wish I had read the signs sooner, then I would have a clean record of never been dumped 😉 …
Well, that’s it guys.
Thinking till next time…