Great idea and support plan :-). Thank @okotoegnima
So into the new year, I thought to myself, “There are so many people i am forcing myself to stay in touch with”. Why the heck I did it, I don’t really know, perhaps I did not want to lose my ‘friends’ *cough*. It took so much effort for some gals that I was like ‘hell no’ friendships don’t have to be this hard. Maintaining a friendship is not supposed to be a workout, having you all sweaty and stuff. It’s supposed to be natural, smooth sailing, fun and happiness. So if it’s cracking your back, then there is a problem, who ever it is you are fighting for is not a friend. I have decided that this year I am letting go all of my fake friends. How do I know they are fake, well um I got 366 days of 2016 of experience so I know. Let me school you
REAL FRIENDS VS FAKE FRIENDS
Real friends will always 99.9% be honest with you and tell you the truth. The only time that they might lie to you is to save your life hence the 0.01%. It can be on small things such as “Do I look fat in this dress?” or “Do you think I should pierce my tongue?” you know. But it can also be something serious like “How do you feel about by new man?” or “I got a new job offer at so and so, do you think I should take it?”. Real friends keep it real, even if the truth hurts like hell. If your man is a player they will tell you. If you wronged someone, they will tell you that you were on the wrong.
Fake friends on the other hand, they respond either yes or no to all questions. Most of the time its just head shaking and nodding, not even words. No matter how serious it is, they couldn’t care less and might respond without thinking things through. They are quite comfortable watching you make the wrong decision. They can let you go out in public looking like a clown in a hot mess or let you sell your soul to the devil. With friends like these, even your inner voice always tells you to seek a second opinion.
Real friends are people you can rely on at any time. Be it night or day, sun or rain, they got your back. These friends can offer you a place to stay for as long as you would like even if they have a one bedroom apartment. You can count on them to babysit for you while you rush to that exam hall. Sometimes you can feel like you take advantage of them because they come through for you in any situation, you should be grateful for them course when they say that they are one call away they actually mean it. They offer you a shoulder to cry on when the going gets tough and they become that strength that keeps you going. You can rely on them to always offer that encouragement to pick yourself up, usually in the form of a tongue lashing, talk about tough love. So when you were drunk and you needed a ride home and they came for you, that’s a keeper. Or you wanted that beautiful black number but your cheque was late and they borrowed you money, that’s a keeper. When you wanted to give up and they told you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be more proactive, that’s a keeper.
Then come the fake ones. Fake friends will always tell you they are on their but will never show up. They always have something more important to do (probably out with their other friends), meaning they couldn’t careless if you are sick at work and needed someone to take you to the hospital. They would rather go to the salon while you die. Fake friends are the excuse factory. And that one time that they do actually come through for you, they will never stop whining about it. As a matter of fact, this is something that you will definitely have to pay for sometime in the future. They don’t do favors, they invest. They know, and will actually be looking for ways that you are going to pay them back. It’s such a shame really, you do not want to have this “friend” on your speed dial.
Real friends know all your flaws in and out and still have mad love for you. They don’t care if you are a certain weight, they don’t care if you are a certain height, skin color, religion, ethnicity etc. They have come to love you for you and never complain about you. They only try to make you better for the short-coming that you may have, and these are usually those nasty habits such as laziness, self-conscientiousness, over-confidence. But all the while they still deal with you if you don’t necessarily change. I love having friends that are in love with my mind, body and soul….and all that other baggage in between.
Fake friends, *facepalms*, they pick you apart at every chance that they get. They strip you of any confidence and self acceptance that you might have and leave you bitter in the cold! I had a friend once that kept telling my how fat I was….when I was pregnant! I had to put up with them for 9 months! Then she kept telling me to start wearing long sleeves and tings because i was getting darker than I already was. Wow, it’s like all day every day, it was her life mission to point out my flaws and imperfections. It was not long till I let that ship go….and no, not sail away and risk it making its way back to me for some reason, no, I let that ish sink!
Lastly, a true friend will somewhere, someday in your silly, crazy escapades utter the words I love you. And you will know that they mean it too. When you go through your Facebook pics of the two of you and you smile and laugh at their crazy comments, that is love right there. Its love when your parents act like they have 1 or 2 extra children lol.
The fake ones, hmmmm, I even get sad thinking about it. What can I say, all the people I took out of my friendship circle have never really cared. Not once did they even say, “Hey you know, I really like your silly butt!”. Like really? You can just tell there is no love and most of the time they are there for a certain thing, popularity, money, you are their pass ticket in university? Or you have a great job! Fake quitting and you will see true colors!
Well, that’s about it. I know everyone has had some of these fake people sometime in their lives. Lol, I just you were never one. I have learnt that it’s not a sin to cut loose the excess baggage, its actually healthy for you! It lets you continue life knowing you are surrounded by the people who deserve your company and those that will always make your life much much
At least that’s what I think….