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whatladychithinks

It's About Life…..and What I Think….

BEDWETTING: FACT OR FICTION?

Though we may hate to admit it, a good number of us have had an issue with bedwetting as children. If not us, it might be something that our child is going through. Sometimes we get our facts and fibs mixed up and end up with a misunderstanding on how to help our kids.

Continue to take the short quiz below to see if you can debunk some myths when it comes to bedwetting.

QUIZ TIME

Related: BEDWETTING: A PARENT’S GUIDE ON HOW TO COPE

BEDWETTING: A PARENT’S GUIDE ON HOW TO COPE

6 Tips Not To Forget As Parents When Dealing With Bedwetting.

I am a mother of three and my first daughter is nine. My daughter hit all her milestones just as a normal child. I was very proud of myself for having dry nights by the time she was three. I am Tanzanian and the common method we usually use to help a toddler out of nighttime daipers is to monitor their water intake from evening time and waking them up for a trip to the bathroom a few hours after bedtime. It may not be the best approach but it worked very well for us. After a week or so, we had dry nights.

Fast forward 4 years later, all the progress went out the window and my daughter began wetting the bed. We have no idea what triggered this situation as it happened so spontaneously overnight. We tried to use the same method again, but it did not work. At first we took it lightly, she just had a minor setback and since we successfully helped her before, we could just do it again. We were wrong. Six months down the line, that is when it hit us that it was not going to be as easy as the first time.

After a year of my daughter consistently wetting the bed I was in shambles. I had gone though an array of emotions. I had invested my everything to help my daughter and absolutely nothing had worked. I was frustrated; I was sad; I was angry; I was confused and I was scared for my daughter. Coming from Tanzania, bedwetting is not something you go to the hospital for. People believe in other means. But I chose to go. And was heartbroken when all tests came back negative. I was glad that nothing was wrong healthwise but that also meant we were back to square one. What was the problem?

I did some research online here and there, and all solutions would work for a while, maybe a week or two and then it all came back again. I used to look at her face and just cry. My daughter would not know sleepovers? My daughter would not go on school field trips? My daughter could not stay at her nana’s house over the weekend? It was hard. As much as I would like this post to be about effective ways to curb bedwetting, I do not have any honestly. Instead here are just a few tips that I had to learn in order to cope with the situation.

1. Patience, patience, patience

Patience is key. There is no given timeline or guarantee that your child will stop wetting the bed at a certain age. Sometimes it is a slow process. Be patient and allow your child to adapt at their own pace. It will happen eventually.

2. Be understanding and kind

As frustrating as it might get, harsh words will not solve the problem. Nor will punishing the child change anything. It is out of their control. No child enjoys wetting the bed and it is our place as parents to understand this and help them. Instead of being upset all the time, teach them to deal with the situation. If it is doing their laundry in the morning or reminding them to go to the bathroom before bed. Always be kind to your child.

3. Do not act on every piece of advice

After some time I felt I was at wits’ end and natuarally I started seeking advice from other people. From family, to friends to even work colleagues. I was desperate. But I came to learn not to act on advice given from just every Tom, Dick and Harry. It was better to do my own research and then to choose a method that may work best for my daughter. From my experience, either people just did not undersand or know what they were talking about and some were very discouraging.

4. Words of encouragement

If you are not going to be there for your child and encourage them, then who will? As a parent you need to let your child know that what they are experiencing happens to quite a number of children. Encourage them to keep their head up and not to let their problem affect their happy-go-lucky attitude and personality.

5. Every child is different

Do not compare your child to other children. That will just give you a headache. Every child is different and every child hits their milestones at their own time. Realise that your child is unique and try to pay attention to them especially. Develop a routine that suits your child best.

6. There is always a solution

It might be temporary or it might be permanent. It can be easy or it can be a hard one but there is always something you can do. In my case, I chose to wake up twice everynight for the past 2 years to take my daughter to the bathroom. Sometimes tiredness gets the best of me and we have an accident but at least we had some dry nights. Others may opt for medication while others may opt for bedwetting alarms. As a parent, do not give up, there is always a solution.

Today marks Night 24 of being Dry for us and I am over the moon. I am grateful and hopeful that she has finally grown out of bedwetting. I honestly do not know how it happened. She just woke up one day screaming “I didn’t wet the bed!” We cheered, we encouraged her as usual and up to today, she has not wet the bed. I wish I knew what epiphany she had so I can share with other parents but we do not want to even revisit that topic.

Well, that is all I wanted to share today. Thinking till next time . . .

BI-WEEKLY FOCUS: PARENTING

A look at challenges such as bedwetting and potty training… welcome!

WEDNESDAY WISDOM

7 Signs that you are about to get dumped…

Okay guys, hi and welcome to my blog. Today I wanted to share something that I went through a while back and something that unfortunately a friend is going through right now. Ever been in a relationship that you are so much invested in that you miss the signs that your significant other is about to bail out? You are concentrated on loving on someone and trying to keep the fire burning that you do not see that they are headed for the exit sign. Well sometimes you see the signs but you just do not know whether it is just something that will pass or if it is something serious. Either way, I am sharing today 7 signs that I experienced in my past relationship that I should have seen before I got the boot.

1. Less communication 💔

Going from 1871543727393 texts and calls per day to almost none. This is a very common sign that your significant other is slowly withdrawing from the relationship. They are no longer interested in knowing how you woke up in the morning, how your day is going or if you made it to your appointment. They used to be the first person to say good morning and the last person to say goodnight. When you find yourself always reaching out to them first and they sometimes take ages to respond then you need to start asking yourself why the sudden change. The situation does not get better when you are together too, they seem unplugged and uninterested in any conversation.

2. Not interested in your appearance 💔

You could dye your beard purple or walk around in a clown suit for the whole day and they will not say anything about it. This could mean that your partner is no longer attracted to you, well at least not physically. You used to be complimented daily on how handsome or beautiful you looked but now you are fishing for compliments … unsuccessfully. Big red flag that something is not right in the relationship. Especially when this change is more all of a sudden and not gradual.

3. No more going out together 💔

Dinner dates, eating lunch together, going to a friend’s party have become a thing of the past and you cannot remember the last time you even stepped out together. And yes, they still enjoy going out…just going by themselves. They would rather be in the company of their boys or girls or any other person that is not you. It is safe to say, they do not want you around nor do they miss your time together. The question is, who do they enjoy spending time with then and why? Spending quality time together is an important part of a relationship, if it not happening then it needs to be addressed. Else, the “ship” is about to sail without you.

4. Excuses have become their best friends 💔

“I am tired,” or “I am running late,” or even ” I forgot” are sentences that you are hearing more often than you would like. There is always an excuse for not investing any time on your relationship or just being around you period. Sometimes they are just trying to be polite so instead telling you a truth like ‘I couldn’t care less about your birthday’ they would rather tell you they were caught up at work or something. But once these start piling up, you do get a bit fed up and would prefer the truth, even if it hurts like ripping out a band aid.

5. No more pet names, will not even say your name 💔

That awkward silence when you wait for them to finish off a sentence with babe, honey or bae and it never comes. I personally feel that if I have to ask you to call me sweetheart or something cute then I don’t want it at all. The relationship feels more formal to say the least as though you are just mere acquaintances. If this goes on for a day or two then maybe they are upset with you and it is something that can be talked about. If it should go for more than a few days, it probably means they are heading towards the exit.

6. Intimacy is dead 💔

There are different levels of intimacy and if you find yourself back at level zero then ‘Houston we have got a problem’. Gone are the days that you couldn’t keep your hands to yourselves when you were alone. You find yourself having to initiate any sort of intimacy all the time and sometimes you get shut down. Intimacy does not give you that warm fuzzy feeling when it feels forced and unwelcome. Again, this can be something you can talk about or it might just be a good time to take a bow and take your leave…before they do.

7. Always arguing 💔

The silence is deafening but you would rather have it that way than risk saying the wrong thing and dive into an argument. It seems as though you can not get through a conversation without it ending in a spew of words. It is like treading on eggshells as they seem triggered by each and everything you say. Arguing over nothing is not worth it unless you can have an intimate making up session afterwards. It is quite exhausting and frankly you end up emotionally drained. It can only go one way after that.

Those are the 7 things that I personally should have noticed before I got dumped. And I must say, it is not always a bad thing. If one person in the relationship has lost interest then it should be okay for them to opt out of the equation. I believe that is a better decision than stringing you along when they know there is no future for the two of you. Yes, sometimes it hurts and you feel like your life is over, but remember ‘Their rejection may be your protection’. I just wish I had read the signs sooner, then I would have a clean record of never been dumped 😉 …

Well, that’s it guys.

Thinking till next time…

RELATIONSHIPS…..

The Bi-Weekly topic in focus this week is Relationships, Friendships, Situationships and everything in between

WEDNESDAY WISDOM

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6 “Unhealthy Foods” that are actually good for us..

Do you believe in the saying, “If it tastes so good, then it is probably not good for you”

Countless times I find myself on the fence, whether the snack in my hand is healthy for me or not. I was heartbroken as a child being told that chocolate is not good for you, who does not love chocolate?

Well, it turns out that most foods that people scare you away from, actually have great health benefits. You can only imagine my sigh of relief when I learned this too. There is hope for mankind after-all :-). These are 6 foods that are considered unhealthy but do actually have some health benefits if consumed moderately....

6. POPCORN

When you are seated down, ready for the movie to begin and you keep side-eyeing the bowl of popcorn on the table beside you. To eat or not to eat, that is the question. And the answer is, to eat. Popcorn is considered to be a low calorie snack. It is also high in fiber which we all need to help maintain our bowel situation. Popcorn contains an antioxidant that helps to reduce the risk of illnesses such as heart disease. A bowl of popcorn surely can add to your health and make the movie 100% better.

5. PLANTAIN

Yummy! I would like to believe that this particular type of banana is most common among some African and Caribbean communities. Plantain is most likely to be fried or sometimes baked and that is why it may be a no-no to some. However, it tastes heavenly when prepared just right and even better with the health benefits. Plantains are also a good source of fiber such as popcorn, but they are also rich in Vitamin A, C and B-6. Talk about strengthening that immune system!

4. BUTTER

Can you say “Betty bought some butter, but the butter was bitter, so Betty bought some better butter to make the bitter butter better” without making a mistake? Try it! You can also try adding a little more butter in the kitchen too because apparently it is not all that bad. Believe it or not, butter contains vitamin A that is useful for healthy skin, good vision and strengthening your immune system. More importantly butter is rich in  conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), a fat that helps to reduce the risk of colon, breast and liver cancer. But remember, the health benefits come only when it is consumed in moderation.

3. BREAD

Le pain! And some of us take this french word for bread quite literally during breakfast. Oh the pain of the 40 pounds that I will gain after eating this half a slice of bread! *Dramatic sigh* … Well lets calm down a bit and learn how bread is actually good for us. Bread is a great source of energy for our beautiful bodies and the carbohydrates contribute to balancing the glucose in our blood. In addition to fiber that keeps our gut happy, bread has prebiotic properties that allows the good type of colon bacteria to flourish and keep doing the good work they do. Again, less is more and one should eat bread moderately, preferably wholegrain bread.

2. WHITE RICE

Just like bread, white rice is a brilliant source of energy, and yes it is gluten free. It also contains folate (folic acid) that is much needed to make red and white blood cells in the bone marrow, this is especially recommended for pregnant women. White rice is also packing on magnesium and iron that help keep our bodies and hearts nice and strong. Although brown rice is the healthier option when it comes to rice, white rice is still quite nutritious and tasty too.

1. CHOCOLATE

Can I get an Amen! Gosh, I know I am not the only person that is relieved that chocolate made it on the list. All that sweetness, all that milk and cream, surely it is a formula for disaster when it comes to eating healthy. Chocolate is not only delicious but it is packed with vitamins and minerals such as calcium that is vital in skin repair and health. It also has flavanols and antioxidants that are known to reduce the risk of heart disease. The flavanol is also said to improve blood flow to the brain hence improve its function. And let us not forget that the caffeine and theobromine also stimulate the brain.

I hope we won’t shy away from these foods next time we are invited to that wedding or doing our grocery shopping. I like to think that any food has nutritional value, even if it is in the smallest amount. I wish to remind you though, too much of a good thing is a bad thing, and that we can enjoy the benefits of these foods if we do not over do it. With that being said, cheers to healthy eating!

Thinking till next time…

FOOD…

The Bi-Weekly Topic in focus is Food, and everything tasty and healthy about it!

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