Hey everyone! What’s good? Now I have been gone for a minute, haven’t I? Well I guess life took over for a bit, but now I am back! Actually I am from a short holiday. We went to visit my in-laws for a bit. And as an African bride (daughter-in-law) I obviously didn’t so much enjoy the holiday. It is tradition that you take over the cooking in the kitchen; you take over the cleaning of the house; the laundry of the family etc. It is mandatory that you prove that your parents raised you right *sigh*. So one night, I was actually complaining to my husband that this was not the way I planned to spend my leave time away from office. We needed to go back home as soon as possible. And I was more than ready to come up with fake excuses just to leave. My husband, on the other hand, he was convinced to stay and I knew why,! He loves his mother to bits and would do all he can to prolong our stay. I told him so but he didn’t believe me. So we settled it the best way we know how…….a test! And yes, I was right as always.
For all my gentlemen out there, some in denial like my husband, some being mama’s boys and proud. The below test is for you to find out and verify. Please do feel free to come back and tell me you results, and be honest too. Lol. GOOD LUCK 🙂
CLICK HERE to find out just how much of a mummy’s boy you are!
Hello my good people. Hope you are all well. Now, as I have mentioned before in previous articles, I am a wife and I am also a mom. My daughter is 4 years old. So last night, I let her watch just a little more cartoons because you know..refer to my previous post HERE. Besides the next day was a weekend. After the last cartoon was done, I kindly tell her “That’s enough for today, sweets. Come we say our prayers and go to bed.” And my daughter, crosses her arms and yells “No, mommy!” I gasped! I was horrified! Tears filled my eyes as I turned to my husband. And so it has began. It goes from “No” to a whole bunch of other statements that I don’t want to hear. My fears unveiling before my very eyes. I was not a bad or mischievous kid growing up, but there are some things I used to tell my mom that I am not so sure I EVER want to her from my baby!I was going crazy, I had to make a list
#1 I will be right back/I won’t be late
Honestly speaking, this is what I used tell my mum just out of habit. 99% of the time it was a major lie. I just had other things to do all the time. And to save myself from my mother’s lashing I used to just tell her what she wanted to hear. I gave her hope. The bad thing is that I never really even made the effort to be on time. I didn’t consider any other persons time and plans but my own. I feel so terrible now. I never want to hear this sentence from my daughter. Just in case that she will be telling white lies just like I had.
# 2 He is just a friend
Oh was he now? Oh dear! I have only ever been caught 3 times with a boy (all friendly scenes btw) and all the time when my mum used to ask, who is this? I used to tell her that “He is just a friend”. All three times, it was my little boyfriend of the time. Why I never really told my mother the truth, I don’t really know. Perhaps she believed that you are only allowed to date when you turn 21. As a mom, I actually think I might bump that up to 25! Every time my daughter would tell me this I think my heart will skip a bit.
#3 You are so unfair sometimes
Child, mother knows best, take this from Rapunzel’s stepmother (check her song Here) . Good mothers always have the best interest for you. I used to use this reply when my mother made decisions for my benefit. And she just did what any parent would do; set a lame curfew; get rid of clothes that showed too much skin; refused some of my friends because they were genuinely bad influences. If or rather when my daughter starts using this line to me it will literally be breaking my heart because everything I do is for her best.
#4 I am grown up now/ I am not a baby anymore
I used to use this when every time I wanted to experience something new and my mum refused. Or when she gave me advice that I thought at the time I didn’t really need. The truth is, you will always be you mother’s baby. She will always feel the need to protect you and to make sure you make all the right choices. It all comes from a good place. I’m counting down till I hear this one from my daughter. I am not looking forward to it because I know it will hurt like a dagger through the heart.
#5 I don’t care
Oh but I did. I just used to say it because……actually I don’t know why I used to say this. Whether it was school, whether it was going to visit family or anything for that matter. I shudder just at the thought of my daughter ever saying this sentence. I wish she will always have passion and just put much care into everything she does.
Like I said in the beginning, I was never a terrible kid. Just sometimes as a kid I would just act up for no reason at all. I really wish I could take back even those few times I said such things to my mum and my dad. But you know how karma is, I have been blessed with a daughter of my own. And she is growing up so fast, too fast for my liking actually. And here I am dreading those five things above. I just wish that I will always have the patience and the ever lasting love that my mummy had for me.
Hi people. Hope you are all good. Hope you are all well. Today, I would like to take you on a trip down memory lane. I was arguing with my Aunt just last week. She was telling me not to let my daughter watch too much cartoons. My daughter is just 4 years old, what am I suppose to let her watch? The Fate of the Furious? Cartoons paved my childhood, I loved them and still do. Yes, I am a grown woman who still loves watching cartoons occasionally. I went on and pointed out things that children learn from cartoons. I mentioned a whole bunch to her, such as the ones below….
# 1 JOHNNY BRAVO
“Heeeey, pretty momma!!”
What could you probably learn from Johnny you ask? Well he was the most confident cartoon I have ever known. He taught me to always believe in myself regardless of what the odds are. He always got up and continued moving no matter how many times he was slapped or punched. Confidence is such an important characteristic in this day and age and I would want my daughter to have that. As I remember, he also taught me to raise that single eyebrow. He was awesome!
#2 MIKE, LU AND OG
This was such a cute cartoon for me. I used to find the obsession with the Juju balls hilarious. I learnt the value and acceptance of culture. Mike was taken to a whole new world, with a different people. Away from everything that she was used to. But she made friends in her new community. She learnt of their ways and their customs and she felt right at home. The world is full of people with different cultures, traditions and beliefs. Each group of people is just as beautiful as the next. Lu and Og were also very accommodating to Mike and accepting her as a friend. Well, maybe Og more than Lu.
#3 COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG
Now this little pup was a life saver. He would always save either Muriel or Eustace or both. Yes, you could always see that this dog was scared, and trembled to the core but he would amazingly always sum up the courage to save people. He faced aliens, robots, weird strangers and French Speaking ducks. With courage, we can face and conquer all our fears and all that is holding us back from moving forward. With courage comes the strength that will fuel your journey. Just like how Courage always made it, you can make it too. He proved that its okay to be scared, but as people watch you quiver with fear, let them also watch you take the first step with courage!!
#4 COW AND CHICKEN
Mummy had a chicken, daddy had a cow! Hahahaha, what are the odds of two perfectly normal human beings having a cow and a chicken for kids? I don’t know, but all I know, all I remember is how happy this family was. Regardless of how cow and chicken were all kinds of different they still cared and loved each other. So we need to know that, siblings and parents may not always compliment each other and we all know that all families have their imperfections. We must just always learn to love our parents and siblings regardless of how different they are from us. Family is life…..cousin Boneless and all.
#5 DEXTER’S LABORATORY
Yep, this little short nerdy kid taught me to embrace your talent regardless of how other people will look at you. He loved science and had the neck for inventing things. He didn’t care about what DeeDee or anybody else said. So if you are a brother who can cook incredible meals, or a lady that can lift the weight of the world, so be it. Have the confidence to see where your talent can take you. Do not let anyone tell you that it is lame; it is useless or it is nerdy. These are just people and that is what people do. You might never know, deep down they may be jealous of you.
#6 SCOOBY DOO
The monsters are always just people. Yes, I paid attention and saw it like it is. Every single time the monster was just a person. A person that has set out to sabotage you. It is a person trying to slow you down or scare you away. Envious people will do anything to see you fail. Trust me people can go to extreme measures. And no, in reality they do not wear costumes or masks. They just smile in your face while they go behind your back and plot against you. That is how people can be heartless sometimes. These monsters are not strangers. They are always people you know and people who know you. Family members, friends, neighbors you name it. They pretend to to care but yet throw daggers at you the moment your back is turned. Learn to read people and try to chose who you associate with wisely.
Well, those are my lessons from a few. I think my baby will be watching cartoons as much as she wishes because I know she is learning.
Okay, hi guys. Hope you are all good, hope you are all well. So the other day, my car was at the shop and so my boss offered me a lift home. He backed out of the car-park slowly and stopped for me to get in. All jolly and happy, I entered and closed the door. Okay, no, honestly I kinda banged the door shut earning myself a look from my boss. He arched an eyebrow and goes on to ask, “Don’t you know the rules of how to behave when you are offered a lift?” I answered with silence and so he went on to school me
Rule #1 Do not slam the door…
“When you enter someone’s car, close the door as gently as you can.
It’s best that the driver be the one to tell you to swing it just a little harder in case it does not close. But don’t go around banging people’s doors. It’s considered rude. And you might never know, maybe all that door needed was a good bang to finally come loose!”
Rule #2 Do not talk before you are talked to…
So there I was, apologizing about the door and going further to find a way to start a random conversation. Weather; hard day at work; that pending report? Well apparently I shouldn’t have.
“Ssshhh, you shouldn’t really speak until spoken to. You know, some people prefer some peace and quiet in their cars, others might like listening to music. If they want to talk, let them start the conversation. This way you avoid the awkward topics. You actually think people like talking about the weather, really?”
Rule #3 Do not touch their radio…
Oh so my boss prefers to listen to music when he is on the road, I thought to myself. I smiled happily as I reached to his radio and turned the dial. “What’s your favorite station?” I asked. I thought I was doing him a favor, he had to keep his eyes on the road and stuff, but actually…
“Did you just touch my radio? Never touch people’s radios! If anything is off limits in someone’s car, it’s their radio. How can you not know that?”
Rule #4 Do not compliment any other car on the road…
You can imagine, we sat there quietly for a while before he actually decided to turn on his radio. Choice fm, exactly the station that I would have put. So anyway, we are at a red light at a junction. What else can I do other than stare out the window. Then my eye catches this beautiful, sleek, pitch black Range Rover Sport 2016. Who could resist admiring such perfection? I HAD to say something, “Check that beast out!”
My boss lets out a sigh. I thought he was with me on this one….yet
“Are you trying to never get a lift from me ever again? Never compliment any other car when you are offered a lift. Not the one behind you, not the one beside you and definitely not the one in front of you. The driver knows there are better cars than his, why do you want to be mean and point it out? I ought to let you down right here, see if you can catch a ride with your beast.“
Rule #5 Contribute…to the traffic fine
When the lights turned green and we were allowed to drive on we were immediately pulled over by the traffic police. Random traffic inspections are routine in some countries, sometimes way too often. I was calm, everything seemed to be in order to me. Unfortunately, this was not quite true. While I had remembered to put on my seat-belt #safetyfirst, my boss had not and this was the reason we were pulled over. He got out of the vehicle, paid his fine and was receipted. Back in the car, all I could say was
“I’m sorry about that.” I was being considerate, right?
“I know this was not your fault and everything but you could help a brother out you know. Since they are doing you a solid, giving you a ride. A little top up is more appreciated than an empty ‘sorry'”
At this point, I was done! Bruh, I was all up in my phone trying to figure out how this Uber service works! These rules were a bit too much, some yeah I can understand that when you are in someone’s personal space you have to be a bit sensitive but that last one? When did life become so complicated? It was just a lift guys, shish. But anyway, I guess you learn something new everyday. I learnt to never accept a lift from my boss ever again 😉
So into the new year, I thought to myself, “There are so many people i am forcing myself to stay in touch with”. Why the heck I did it, I don’t really know, perhaps I did not want to lose my ‘friends’ *cough*. It took so much effort for some gals that I was like ‘hell no’ friendships don’t have to be this hard. Maintaining a friendship is not supposed to be a workout, having you all sweaty and stuff. It’s supposed to be natural, smooth sailing, fun and happiness. So if it’s cracking your back, then there is a problem, who ever it is you are fighting for is not a friend. I have decided that this year I am letting go all of my fake friends. How do I know they are fake, well um I got 366 days of 2016 of experience so I know. Let me school you
REAL FRIENDS VS FAKE FRIENDS
Real friends will always 99.9% be honest with you and tell you the truth. The only time that they might lie to you is to save your life hence the 0.01%. It can be on small things such as “Do I look fat in this dress?” or “Do you think I should pierce my tongue?” you know. But it can also be something serious like “How do you feel about by new man?” or “I got a new job offer at so and so, do you think I should take it?”. Real friends keep it real, even if the truth hurts like hell. If your man is a player they will tell you. If you wronged someone, they will tell you that you were on the wrong.
Fake friends on the other hand, they respond either yes or no to all questions. Most of the time its just head shaking and nodding, not even words. No matter how serious it is, they couldn’t care less and might respond without thinking things through. They are quite comfortable watching you make the wrong decision. They can let you go out in public looking like a clown in a hot mess or let you sell your soul to the devil. With friends like these, even your inner voice always tells you to seek a second opinion.
Real friends are people you can rely on at any time. Be it night or day, sun or rain, they got your back. These friends can offer you a place to stay for as long as you would like even if they have a one bedroom apartment. You can count on them to babysit for you while you rush to that exam hall. Sometimes you can feel like you take advantage of them because they come through for you in any situation, you should be grateful for them course when they say that they are one call away they actually mean it. They offer you a shoulder to cry on when the going gets tough and they become that strength that keeps you going. You can rely on them to always offer that encouragement to pick yourself up, usually in the form of a tongue lashing, talk about tough love. So when you were drunk and you needed a ride home and they came for you, that’s a keeper. Or you wanted that beautiful black number but your cheque was late and they borrowed you money, that’s a keeper. When you wanted to give up and they told you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be more proactive, that’s a keeper.
Then come the fake ones. Fake friends will always tell you they are on their but will never show up. They always have something more important to do (probably out with their other friends), meaning they couldn’t careless if you are sick at work and needed someone to take you to the hospital. They would rather go to the salon while you die. Fake friends are the excuse factory. And that one time that they do actually come through for you, they will never stop whining about it. As a matter of fact, this is something that you will definitely have to pay for sometime in the future. They don’t do favors, they invest. They know, and will actually be looking for ways that you are going to pay them back. It’s such a shame really, you do not want to have this “friend” on your speed dial.
Real friends know all your flaws in and out and still have mad love for you. They don’t care if you are a certain weight, they don’t care if you are a certain height, skin color, religion, ethnicity etc. They have come to love you for you and never complain about you. They only try to make you better for the short-coming that you may have, and these are usually those nasty habits such as laziness, self-conscientiousness, over-confidence. But all the while they still deal with you if you don’t necessarily change. I love having friends that are in love with my mind, body and soul….and all that other baggage in between.
Fake friends, *facepalms*, they pick you apart at every chance that they get. They strip you of any confidence and self acceptance that you might have and leave you bitter in the cold! I had a friend once that kept telling my how fat I was….when I was pregnant! I had to put up with them for 9 months! Then she kept telling me to start wearing long sleeves and tings because i was getting darker than I already was. Wow, it’s like all day every day, it was her life mission to point out my flaws and imperfections. It was not long till I let that ship go….and no, not sail away and risk it making its way back to me for some reason, no, I let that ish sink!
Lastly, a true friend will somewhere, someday in your silly, crazy escapades utter the words I love you. And you will know that they mean it too. When you go through your Facebook pics of the two of you and you smile and laugh at their crazy comments, that is love right there. Its love when your parents act like they have 1 or 2 extra children lol.
The fake ones, hmmmm, I even get sad thinking about it. What can I say, all the people I took out of my friendship circle have never really cared. Not once did they even say, “Hey you know, I really like your silly butt!”. Like really? You can just tell there is no love and most of the time they are there for a certain thing, popularity, money, you are their pass ticket in university? Or you have a great job! Fake quitting and you will see true colors!
Well, that’s about it. I know everyone has had some of these fake people sometime in their lives. Lol, I just you were never one. I have learnt that it’s not a sin to cut loose the excess baggage, its actually healthy for you! It lets you continue life knowing you are surrounded by the people who deserve your company and those that will always make your life much much